How to Handle Office Politics Without Losing Your Sanity (or Your Shot at the Promotion)

project your value and beat office politics!

Let’s acknowledge one thing—Most people are not waking up wondering how to block your success.

I’ve found this to be true after sitting across the table from hundreds of people in high-stakes negotiations, across industries and time zones. Whether it was a boardroom in Boston or a deal in Singapore, one thing remained consistent: people are not waking up thinking about how to ruin your day.

Even though it might feel that way sometimes—When your ideas get brushed off.When you’re not invited to the meeting.When someone takes three days to respond to an email you spent two hours crafting.

But here’s what’s more likely true:

They’re thinking about how to keep their own head above water.They’re thinking about deadlines. Pressure from above. That mistake from last week that’s still haunting them.

They’re not plotting against you. They’re just busy.

And that small shift in perspective can change everything.

Is Office Politics real or imagined? How can you tell?

Recently I worked with a client—let’s call her Lila. She was qualified, smart, already doing the work of a director without the title. But she kept hitting a wall in meetings. Her ideas went nowhere. Her instinct? “They don’t want me to rise. They’re threatened.”

But when we looked closer, something else came up. Her VP was under pressure to slash costs and deliver new programs on a short timeline. Lila’s ideas were strong, but they didn’t sound like solutions to his immediate problems. They sounded like more work. More spending. We assumed that this was not office politics played badly but just a matter of

mismatched priorities.

She was pitching innovation. He was thinking survival.

She was speaking future growth. He was stuck in Q3 deliverables.

So we reframed.

She started tying her suggestions directly to the cost-saving goals he was already stressing over. She made it clear how her ideas helped him win.

And just like that—things shifted. She wasn’t ignored anymore. She was invited to present.

That shift didn’t come from working harder. It came from dropping the idea that people were blocking her—and starting to figure out what they needed.

Now, let’s be real—Sometimes you are being blocked. There are real dynamics at play. Power struggles. Bias - conscious or unconscious. People protecting their turf. It happens.

But not every time.

And the danger is, when you assume every delay or disconnect is someone trying to hold you back, you start playing defense all the time. That mindset will wear you down fast—and worse, it keeps you from seeing opportunities that are right in front of you.

So how do you tell the difference? How do you know when it’s a real block, and when it’s just noise?

If you’re stuck in your own head right now, wondering if people are trying to keep you small, try this instead:

1. Ask, “What else could be true?”

Maybe their silence isn’t personal. Maybe they didn’t see the message. Maybe they’re not ready to have the conversation. Maybe they’re overwhelmed. This question helps you zoom out before you spiral.

2. Focus on the goal, not the reaction

You’re not here to collect praise. You’re here to get something done. If your suggestion didn’t land, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. It might just need a better setup, better timing, or a clearer connection to what they care about. Keep refining.

3. Stop scripting arguments in your head—just talk to them

It’s so easy to go down the rabbit hole of what someone meant by that tone or email. Instead of stewing, ask. “Hey, I noticed you paused when I mentioned the plan. Is there something I should be considering that I missed?” That kind of direct, calm question opens more doors than assumptions ever will.

4. Look Inwards first

Everyone has bad days. But if something keeps happening—if you're always the one being left off the thread, talked over, or passed by—pause and evaluate yourself first. Are you making your value visible? Are you aligning with leadership priorities? Are you speaking in their language, or yours?

5. Get a reality check from your people

Don’t keep it all in your head. Have a few trusted people you can run things by. The kind who say, “Yeah, that was off—but here’s how to play it smart,” or “Nope, that’s your anxiety talking.” The goal is to get multiple perspectives.

I had another client who thought her VP didn’t support her. No responses to updates. No invites to key meetings. She felt invisible.

I challenged her to try something different. She booked a short 1:1 with him. In that time, she walked through how her project tied into his big department goals—and offered to take one thing off his plate.

His tone changed. Because he finally saw how she made his life easier.

That’s the game.

Stop taking things personally, and start making your value unmistakable.

Nobody is sitting around scheming about how to keep you small (well, at least let's assume this!). They’re trying to hold it all together, just like you and me!

When you stop assuming the worst, you start seeing the opportunities you’ve been too defensive to notice. You start leading with alignment, not suspicion. You start walking into rooms like you belong—not because everyone claps when you do, but because you feel assured of the value you bring.

Keep your energy where it matters.

The world has enough imaginary enemies. You don’t need to make your coworkers one of them.

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Dorothy Mashburn is on a mission to empower women of color (and allies!) to steer their career journey and confidently negotiate their value. If you are ready to get help, book a call.