Salary negotiations can feel like a cirque-du-soleil juggling act. You want to advocate for yourself, but you don’t want to risk coming across as pushy or damaging your relationship with the hiring manager.
I get it. I hear this at least hundred times a month!
First, remember, negotiating doesn’t have to be adversarial. When done thoughtfully, it strengthens relationships by showing confidence, professionalism, and a clear understanding of your own value. And highlights that you are not afraid of owning your value!
Let’s break down how to approach these conversations with both tact and the right words to use to negotiate the salary effectively.
First, change your mindset. I really mean it!
Many people approach salary negotiations as a battle—"me vs. them." But the truth is, negotiation is a partnership. The company has already chosen you, which means they see your value and want you on their team.
Instead of thinking of negotiation as a conflict, see it as an opportunity to align expectations. Framing it this way not only reduces tension but also sets the tone for a positive, productive conversation.
You can say something like “I’m really excited about this role and the chance to contribute to the team. I’d love to discuss how we can make this offer reflect the value I bring.”
Build Your Case on Data, Not Emotion
One of the quickest ways to derail a negotiation is to make it personal. Avoid statements like, “I need this salary to pay my bills” or “This is what I feel I’m worth.”
Instead, base your ask on objective data: market research, industry benchmarks, and your track record of results. This shifts the conversation from opinion to value, making it easier for the other party to engage constructively.
“Based on the benchmarking I have done, I am asking for a base salary of $X. I strongly believe this amount aligns with market standards and the impact I can bring to the team.”
Acknowledge Their Perspective
But before you start your counteroffer, first appreciate them. People respond better when they feel heard and respected. Before diving into your counteroffer, acknowledge the company’s initial offer and the thought that went into it.
This shows that you appreciate their position. You could say something like this, "I really appreciate the offer and the opportunity to join your team. I know you’ve put a lot of thought into this; Based on the benchmarking I have done, I am asking for a base salary of $X. I strongly believe this amount aligns with market standards and the impact I can bring to the team. I’d like to explore how we can bridge the gap."
Use “We” Language
Notice in the above example, I highlighted the word, "we." This is strategic. Using inclusive language like “we” instead of “I” brings both parties to the same side of the table. Now you are partners in crime!
Try variants of these-
"How can we figure this thing out?" or "I know we both want to ensure this partnership makes both of us happy. Let’s explore how we can make this work."
Focus on the Future, Not Just the Present
When negotiating, emphasize how your contributions will benefit the organization in the long term. This shifts the focus from a transactional conversation to a strategic discussion about value.
“With my experience in [specific skill or achievement], I’m confident I can help drive [specific goal or outcome]. I am asking for my compensation package to reflect the impact I am going to make.” This is all about the golden nuggets that you get from the interview. To learn more about them, get my book.
Firm AND Flexible
This is the juggling or the tight rope walking part!
You must be firm AND flexible. You can stand your ground while remaining open to creative solutions. If base salary isn’t flexible (this is often the case for many companies), consider negotiating for other perks like signing bonuses, stock options, or additional vacation time.
“I understand that there may be limits on base salary. What areas do you have more flexibility? I am open to making this work for both of us!
One key here, avoid yes/no answers. Those are dead ends.
End on a Positive Note
No matter the outcome, leave the conversation on good terms. Thank the hiring manager for their time and express your enthusiasm for the role.
Use the following-
“Thank you for taking the time to discuss this with me. I’m excited about the opportunity and look forward to contributing to the team.”
If you end up at the same offer and still decide to join, you can say, "I understand the offer remains as is, I’m still incredibly motivated to join the team and make an impact. Thank you for your transparency throughout this process."
And If you decide to decline the job, use "I would love to stay connected and hope there may be opportunities to work together down the road. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if there’s anything I can do to support your efforts in the future."
Final Thoughts About words to use in salary negotiation
The next time you prepare for a salary negotiation, practice framing your ask with phrases that show collaboration and confidence. Research your market value, rehearse your delivery, and step into the conversation knowing your worth.
Every word you say and every gesture you make in a negotiation shapes the outcome. Want to uncover the strategies behind the scenes? Book a discovery call to craft your personalized strategy.
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